Betty Nut

My next door neighbor lady, at the Dee-Lite M tel. She is cooking creamed corn. The Jesus picture is a gift from me. It is nice.

The Lord looks over us

Ramona: The Authorized Biography

WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
The Ef one.

DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED?
No, but I remember my first half-n-half.

DO YOU WEAR FLIP FLOPS WHEN IT'S COLD?
I usually wear Go Go Boots.

WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?
I have a Debbie Gibson tape I like to listen to, in my boom box.

DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
Yes.

CAN YOU WHISTLE?
If I run fast enough in my plastic pants.

DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?
No, but I have about 23 casino tees.

EVER CRY IN PUBLIC?
If a guy has a fetish for it. I usually charge extra.

WHAT IS THE ONE POSSESSION YOU COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT?
Pants, I guess. I can’t afford to get arrested again this soon.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, but sometimes I fake it.

ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
I don’t take checks.

My Courteny Cox makeover

Oh my God! It only cost $20!

Before & After

I made a craft

I decided to make a craft that I could sell on eBay. It's a monkey made out of a paper bag. I'm not sure it turned out right, but I hope someone will bid on it...

the pattern...

the finished craft...

The Day After

O Christmas Tree...

Christmas - what a hell of a holiday. I didn’t get any tricks and then my little red kettle was stolen by a woman in one of those motorized carts. I went out onto Ogden the next day, hoping the sharks were biting. But all I ended up with was a Christmas tree that some uppity wench chucked out of the back of a fast moving SUV. The damn thing hit me and put me out of commission for the day.Shoot. If I see that bitch, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind! And make her give me 20 bux!

FROM THE REVEREND RAMONA RESIDENTIAL LIBRARY - CIRCA 2005:


Lord, I did a stupid thing yesterday. You know those red kettles that seem to attract bell-ringing idiots? I stole one. The kettle, not the bell-ringing idiot. But the one I grabbed and ran with had no bux inside. Dang!I decided to set up my little pot in front of the Free Clinic to solicit donations, but I couldn’t seem to attract anyone with a bell. I stood there and waved my own arm and went “ding ding” for awhile, but nada bux. So if anyone wants to put a 10 in my kettle, could you make it 20?

In the Lord’s Love,

Rev. Ramona

Hey all my Jesus Freaks!

FROM THE REVEREND RAMONA RESIDENTIAL LIBRARY - CIRCA 2005:

This is what a drug haze looks like...

Hi, all my happy freaks for Jesus! The Reverend Ramona is now online and ready to spread the Good Word! I may be a hooker, but I love the Lord. You can usually find me in beautiful downtown Las Vegas turning tricks or preaching about God’s love.

Here is a pic of me getting ready to give a big Shout Out to the Man Upstairs on my weekly Bible broadcast “Rockin’ with Ramona!” broadcast on the big screen on Fremont Street.

I’ll be signing autographs at the Free Clinic next week, too, so keep your peepers open for me.

Praise God!