Monday, December 26, 2005

The Day After

O Christmas Tree...

Christmas - what a hell of a holiday. I didn’t get any tricks and then my little red kettle was stolen by a woman in one of those motorized carts. I went out onto Ogden the next day, hoping the sharks were biting. But all I ended up with was a Christmas tree that some uppity wench chucked out of the back of a fast moving SUV. The damn thing hit me and put me out of commission for the day.Shoot. If I see that bitch, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind! And make her give me 20 bux!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

FROM THE REVEREND RAMONA RESIDENTIAL LIBRARY - CIRCA 2005:


Lord, I did a stupid thing yesterday. You know those red kettles that seem to attract bell-ringing idiots? I stole one. The kettle, not the bell-ringing idiot. But the one I grabbed and ran with had no bux inside. Dang!I decided to set up my little pot in front of the Free Clinic to solicit donations, but I couldn’t seem to attract anyone with a bell. I stood there and waved my own arm and went “ding ding” for awhile, but nada bux. So if anyone wants to put a 10 in my kettle, could you make it 20?

In the Lord’s Love,

Rev. Ramona

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Hey all my Jesus Freaks!

FROM THE REVEREND RAMONA RESIDENTIAL LIBRARY - CIRCA 2005:


This is what a drug haze looks like...

Hi, all my happy freaks for Jesus! The Reverend Ramona is now online and ready to spread the Good Word! I may be a hooker, but I love the Lord. You can usually find me in beautiful downtown Las Vegas turning tricks or preaching about God’s love.

Here is a pic of me getting ready to give a big Shout Out to the Man Upstairs on my weekly Bible broadcast “Rockin’ with Ramona!” broadcast on the big screen on Fremont Street.

I’ll be signing autographs at the Free Clinic next week, too, so keep your peepers open for me.

Praise God!

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