Betty Nut

My next door neighbor lady, at the Dee-Lite M tel. She is cooking creamed corn. The Jesus picture is a gift from me. It is nice.

The Lord looks over us

Ramona: The Authorized Biography

WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
The Ef one.

DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED?
No, but I remember my first half-n-half.

DO YOU WEAR FLIP FLOPS WHEN IT'S COLD?
I usually wear Go Go Boots.

WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?
I have a Debbie Gibson tape I like to listen to, in my boom box.

DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
Yes.

CAN YOU WHISTLE?
If I run fast enough in my plastic pants.

DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?
No, but I have about 23 casino tees.

EVER CRY IN PUBLIC?
If a guy has a fetish for it. I usually charge extra.

WHAT IS THE ONE POSSESSION YOU COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT?
Pants, I guess. I can’t afford to get arrested again this soon.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, but sometimes I fake it.

ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
I don’t take checks.

My Courteny Cox makeover

Oh my God! It only cost $20!

Before & After

I made a craft

I decided to make a craft that I could sell on eBay. It's a monkey made out of a paper bag. I'm not sure it turned out right, but I hope someone will bid on it...

the pattern...

the finished craft...

Do these pantyhose make me look fat?

Oh hell

Peek-a-boo Dancing Pole for Girls

Peek-a-Boo Pole Dancing Kit for girls

Oh wow, this is a great X-mas gift for every little kid on your gift list. I could have made a lot more money in my teen years had I only had this super toy to learn routines with.

And just remember: the more money your little teen stripper can make, the more money she can put in the collection plate at church. Praise be!

The Day After

O Christmas Tree...

Christmas - what a hell of a holiday. I didn’t get any tricks and then my little red kettle was stolen by a woman in one of those motorized carts. I went out onto Ogden the next day, hoping the sharks were biting. But all I ended up with was a Christmas tree that some uppity wench chucked out of the back of a fast moving SUV. The damn thing hit me and put me out of commission for the day.Shoot. If I see that bitch, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind! And make her give me 20 bux!