Looking for a man with a big oven

In times of crisis, don't we all turn to Craigslist? I mean, you need a job, an apartment, a free bed... you post your needs on the Craigslist. After I got volunteered to bake and decorate a 4-level wedding cake for a ceremony this coming Saturday, I ran right out and bought about 6 boxes of SmartValu boxed cake mix (flavor: fudge), which the dollar store always has marked 2 for 1. I thought my biggest obstacle was going to be figuring out what to use as a pan, and just decided to improvise with a deep dish cookie sheet and make several layers. With lots of Cool Whip between every layer, and the entire extravaganza frosted with Cool Whip, I had a pretty good feeling about this.

Today I woke up and realized I am going to have trouble baking this cake because my in-room oven is busted. The Dee-Lite M tel does provide all rentals with a kitchenette, they just don't guarantee that they'll work. Not only is my oven broken, but my wind-up oven timer - imported from Taiwan - sticks at 10 minutes. I have burned more pizza rolls because of this, so I don't want to take any chances with this wedding cake. So I posted this ad on Craigslist:

Hello all you sexy devils out there! I am a MILF without the kids, an older woman you would love to tangle in the sheets with. I don't prowl for "random encounters" much any more since my eggs dried up, but don't think I don't have all the right parts! A little WD-40 on my way out the door and everything will be in tiptop shape, I promise.

Here's what I am looking for, boys. I want a lover with a big oven, and - preferable - some nice pans, a handheld electric mixer (my beaters are bent), and some potholders without holes in 'em. See, I gotta bake a wedding cake for an old stripper friend of mine, and I can't do it at my place. Being a 4-level cake, this sucker's going to take awhile, so we'll have all night to tumble while the oven does it's thing. Sexually, I get into it all, so shoot me a reply and tell me what you're up for.

While I do prefer a hot young man who can go all night, preferential treatment will be given to the stud who has the best appliances. Extra credit if the guy has any baking or cake decorating experience (I don't have any, so even if your skills are limited, I'm still interested). Let's bake boys, or if you're a lesbian with a Paula Deen fetish, I am up for that too. (I'll bring the wig and the butter.) Friday night only! This sucker's got to be fresh!

Wish me luck!

How many tubs of this will I need
to frost (and fill) 4 levels of cake?